Grace in the Growing

Walk with me as I grow to be a better steward of the things that God has given to me. This walk will include being a better homemaker, becoming better with time management, and a better steward of my finances.

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  • Letting Go: Trusting God Through Struggles

    I’ve been encouraged this week — not by anything big, but by all the small ways God lets me know He’s there. By all the little details that make up the larger picture. For me, those big aha moments don’t happen all that often. Usually, they only occur a handful of times in a person’s life. We need to get into the habit of looking for God in all the details of our lives, not just the mountaintop moments.

    I get it, friends. It’s easy to get caught up in day-to-day life — demanding jobs, busy children with extracurricular activities (and we all know they don’t refrain from scheduling practices and games on Sundays and Wednesdays anymore), and all the busyness that falls in between. It’s not difficult at all to be swept up in the current of life.

    But what happens when that current becomes too strong? Do we swim parallel to the shoreline and fight our way out of the undertow, or do we simply let ourselves be swept away?

    I choose to fight. It’s going to be a long, uphill battle the whole way, but I don’t plan on doing it alone. I’ll have you along for the journey. And most importantly, I’ll have God by my side, helping to relieve the weight of the burden.

    I know I said I wanted to do a series titled Praying Through Proverbs, and I still plan on doing that. However, the last few days I’ve been focusing on staying caught up with my Bible Recap study (highly recommend, by the way) and working through an app called Duomo that has a study on codependency. I’ve been enjoying both.

    This morning, the Duomo study was about Ruth and Naomi and how they didn’t rush into relationships when they returned to Bethlehem. Ruth allowed her relationship with Boaz to blossom naturally rather than forcing or speeding it along. Boaz was able to observe Ruth’s character while she gleaned from his fields — and he liked what he saw. Ruth, meanwhile, focused on serving and providing for Naomi, being grateful for what they did have.

    It was a good reminder to slow down and just be with God — to let my relationship with Him bloom naturally and wholeheartedly, rather than trying to force it into existence by filling my time with things I think I need to do to serve His Kingdom. Sometimes it’s okay to just be still and let God move in your heart. Whether that means spending a few minutes writing down things you’re grateful for, going on a walk while listening to a podcast or worship music, or simply sitting outside enjoying the sunset.

    On my drive to work, I was listening to the Casting Crowns station on Pandora. The first song that played was You Say by Lauren Daigle, followed by I Will Rise by Chris Tomlin, and then Who Am I by Casting Crowns. They were all excellent reminders not to listen to Satan when he tries to whisper nonsense in my ear and tell me I’ll never be good enough, pretty enough, or have enough money to accomplish my goals.

    The opening words to Who Am I are, “Who am I that the Lord of all the Earth would care to know my name, would care to feel my hurt?” It goes on to say that the voice that calmed the sea can still the storm in us, too.

    Friends, it was a wonderful reminder that I am not alone in my emotions. God is right there beside me, ready to calm the storm — I just need to let Him. “Let go and let God,” as the adage says. The letting go part… that’s the hardest.

    Why is that? Why do we hold on to things that affect us so negatively? Why do we struggle so much to relinquish control over what we know will hurt us?

    Friends, if you have the answer, please leave it in the comments! I would love to know better how to pray for myself.

    I apologize if my thoughts seem a little jumbled or if I bounce from topic to topic. That’s my brain for you — it either goes 90 mph or stands still. There doesn’t seem to be a happy medium!

    Part of becoming more intentional in my relationship with God is through prayer. Friends, if you have any prayer requests, please leave them in the comments. I’ve shared some pretty personal things here — things I find a bit embarrassing, honestly. If you have areas in your life you’d like prayer for but feel too embarrassed to post publicly, please feel free to email me at graceinthegrowing@gmail.com.

    Ways you can pray for me this week: self-control with spending, a desire to stay rooted in God’s Word, that God would send that special person into my life with whom I can serve Him, and a change in the way I view housekeeping.

    Until next time, friends!

  • From Overwhelmed to Intentional: My First Step Toward Better Stewardship

    It has long been on my mind that I need to be more intentional. The areas I want to become more intentional in are: finances, time management, and relationships (with God and people). These all can be boiled down under the “stewardship” heading.

    I am starting this journey with about $53,600 in debt. The majority of which is credit card debt and loans taken out to refinance credit card debt. Included in this figure is also a mortgage and some student loan debt. I am also starting this journey with a disaster of a house. Friends, I do mean disaster. You’ve seen those reels on Facebook where people go into a house that is in utter chaos? That’s my house. And honestly, that’s really hard and embarrassing for me to admit to.

    The final area that I want to focus and become more intentional in, is my relationships with God and people. Too many times, I put God on a back burner in my life. I treat Him as an object to be pulled out when convenient or when things get difficult. I go through cycles of spending time in bible study and prayer only to fall into a time of only spending time with Him at Church on Sunday. Friends, I said this is my the final area that I need to become more intentional in, when in all honesty, it’s the most important. My relationship with God will help bring into focus all the ways to become more intentional in the other areas of my life.

    My goal for this blog isn’t to become famous. I’m willing to law all my ugly truths out for you friends, in hopes that my journey will be a help and encouragement to someone else. We all struggle with something in our lives. The question is, are we willing to lay it at the alter and allow Jesus to take our burdens? Will we allow Him to guide us through the struggle or will be try to weather the storm on our own?

    Friends, I can’t do this on my own. I’ve tried. And I’ve failed. Let’s walk through my story.

    I’m a single woman trying to navigate life on my own. I would love to not be single anymore but bringing my flaws and failures into a relationship gives me anxiety.

    I know what I want in a man. Someone strong in his faith, someone to help lead me in mine. After a lot of soul-searching the past couple days, I know I want someone whose authority I can trust and count on to lead me in a life that will ultimately bring glory to God. I want someone to make decisions for me when needed while being open to my thoughts and ideals. And of course, someone to love and cherish me. This way of thinking might to antiquated for some of you, but for me…. I know it’s what I need.

    Why bring this up? Because having a conversation with a stranger brought everything crashing down around me. A couple weeks ago, I had a strange number text me. Normally, I ignore all texts from numbers I don’t know but that day, I responded. I knew my nephew was getting a new phone and I wanted to make sure it wasn’t him trying to get a hold of me. Well, friends, it wasn’t my nephew. It was a guy. We had a fun, light and flirty conversation over the weekend. He seemed like he was intentionally trying to get to know me. Until he ghosted me.

    Ladies, most of us have had that happen right? Being ghosted by a man. It sucks. Normally, it wouldn’t have bothered me. I didn’t know this guy. He didn’t owe me anything. But…. he did make me realize that I was lonely. I crave that intentionality from a man.

    So what did I do next? Well, I sulked for about a week. And then I signed up for a dating website. Friends, I don’t know if that journey to find love is the right one for me. Some people are able to use dating apps to find their partners….. but to me it seems so artificial. But, we’ll see how it goes for now. I had the same thing happen on the app though. A guy messaged me. He said he was a Christian, we had a decent conversation going, and then…. poof. He blocked me.

    Friends, I know the possibility that one (or both) of these guys are scammers is high. In my head I know that I should not have put any stock in them ghosting me. But, the heart is another story. I let their actions dictate my self-worth. I wondered what was wrong with me that I couldn’t keep their attention.

    In conjunction with this, I was reprimanded at work for being frustrated with a co-worker. It doesn’t matter one way or another if I was in the right or not, what matters was the attitude I had.

    Let’s just say that day was a very bad day in general. Over the years, I’ve learned that God uses such days to bring things into perspective. Looking back over the past few months, I can see that I’ve been anxious and stressed out on the inside. And what’s on the inside most often times bleeds outward. I can see how the state of my house, the state of my finances was bleeding out and affecting my relationship with God and with people.

    Guilt was piling on my shoulders and I just couldn’t stand beneath it’s weight anymore. It was too much for me to carry and I broke.

    They say to leave your burdens at the door when you enter your job…. That might be doable for some but for those of us who have tender hearts and heavy loads… it’s out of the question. I mean, if we set them down, how will we ever pick them back up again, right? We’re not meant to. Not alone, anyways. God wants us to let him shoulder our burdens. To help carry the weight.

    Looking back, I know that the emotions I felt Wednesday could have been avoided altogether by giving everything to God. But, as so often people do, I didn’t want to let go. I didn’t realize the burden was too heavy until the final stone was placed on top and it all came tumbling down. It wasn’t until later, that I realized that I didn’t want to even try to pick up the pieces.

    Writing these words, the guilt I’ve been carrying has eased from my shoulders. Giving voice to the negative has made me yearn all the more to move forward with Jesus and allowing Him into every aspect of my life. I know the fallen stones need to be addressed and taken care of. That’s why I’m here. I need your help to hold me accountable to every metaphorical brick in my life.

    I know ultimately I will answer to Jesus. But, I also know that giving voice to the areas of my life I need to grow in and learn to give myself grace in, will ultimately benefit me.

    I know God uses all things for His good and His glory. I’ve been asking myself the last day, how I can use this for God’s glory. While, I haven’t necessarily asked God if this is the correct path to take, I’m hoping it will still bring glory to him.

    I don’t want your pity. I don’t even want acknowledgement. I know that I can’t be the only person struggling with their feelings, with their self-worth, with keeping a clean and tidy home, or with their finances. I’m writing this for two reasons: 1) as a way for me to express myself (because apparently, I can only do that through writing) and 2) as a way to let you know, friend, that you are not alone.

    The way I plan this to work out is by inviting Jesus into all aspects of my life and letting Him take the wheel. The first few posts will be a series titled “Praying My Way Through Proverbs” with a strong focus on stewardship.

    If this is something that might interest you, feel free to tag along for the journey. I pray that we can grow together!

    Lord God, I thank you for all that you’ve blessed me with. I pray that you give me insight into how best to utilize the resources that you’ve placed into my care. Lord, I relinquish all control to you. I ask that you bless this blog post. I pray that you allow anybody who might need words of encouragement for these same issues to come across it. Lord, help it be a blessing for not only myself but for someone else. Use it to glorify Your Kingdom. Lord, I pray for each person who might read these words. Help them to turn to you for guidance and to place their trust in You and You alone. Father God, I ask your peace in my life. Help me to trust in your timing for a partner to love and worship You with. Help me to be content in all things. In Jesus name, Amen.

    Until next time, Friends!